Something Charles said to me the other night has been stuck in my head. I’ve turned the statement over and over, picking at it, thinking about it and finally realizing why it’s stuck with me. If you follow me on Twitter you may have heard about the dishes arrangement Charles and I have. I do 99.9% of the cooking, so he pitches in reluctantly with cleaning the kitchen. Until a few months ago we didn’t have any formal arrangements of who does what, we just worked on it together.
We kept having the same dispute though, he is under the impression that I load the dishwasher “wrong”. Every time I would load it he would go back and reload it HIS way. On one such occasion he made the exasperated statement “That’s it! You’re not allowed to load the dishwasher anymore!”
Sure my first thought should’ve been “Who do you think you are, my father?!”
But instead all I could think was “And that’s a BAD thing?!” I quickly accepted. “Ok, if you say so.” It wasn’t long before he realized his mistake and added in the request that I please do all the UN-loading and he would do the loading. To be fair I agreed with that request and I’ve been happily thinking about what other chores I can do “wrong” to get him to take over. (kidding honey)
Anyway, a couple of days ago I figured I’d be nice and load the dishes for him. OF COURSE as soon as he opened the dishwasher I could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t up to his standards. But then he turned to me and said, “You know what? I’m not even going to give you a hard time about it, I’m just happy you tried.”
Since I’m still not entirely sure what’s so wrong with the way I load dishes, I have no clue if I actually “tried” but that statement has stuck with me. He was HAPPY because I put in the effort even if the outcome wasn’t what he desired. Tonight, as I was once again shoving un-rinsed dishes haphazardly carefully loading dishes I thought about what he said and suddenly a light bulb went off above my head.
The lesson:
THIS is what’s been missing in my life lately. I’ve been working on several things lately and haven’t been pleased with the outcome. I’ve had to “try” harder to be healthy when once it came easily. I “try” to improve in running and while I AM improving in leaps and bounds I still give myself a hard time about it. And the list goes on.
Instead of beating myself up over not getting the desired outcome quick enough, why don’t I be HAPPY that I AM trying? Instead of being negative about taking baby steps, why don’t I CELEBRATE those steps?
What if, I stopped being so damn hard on myself, and instead remembered this:
“Success isn't a destination, it’s a journey”
Today I’m embracing the journey, and being a little kinder to myself along the way.