My sister recently mentioned a conversation she had with an old high school buddy. The friend had asked if my losing so much weight had changed me somehow, and if so, was it affecting my marriage? Apparently there is a high divorce rate among couples where one of the people had lost life changing amounts of weight.
I assured her my marriage was just fine, but this topic got me thinking. What is it about this journey that could tear a couple apart?
Maybe the lifestyle changes could be difficult on a marriage. When you lose weight, you naturally become more active. I no longer want to sit home and veg out in front of the TV. I want to be out, going places and doing fun things. If your spouse isn't on board with making changes himself then this could cause some dissension between you.
Additionally, weight loss usually goes hand in hand with increased confidence. The more I lose, the better I feel about myself. I no longer want to sit on the sidelines of life. This could be hard for your partner to watch, especially if they don't feel that way themselves. Jealousy could set in and we all know that's not healthy for a relationship.
My sister made a lovely comment regarding my personality and weight loss. She said when she was around me this time last year (when I was 100+ pounds heavier), that I WASN'T myself. I was just THERE, not participating, not enjoying life. Now when she is around me I am finally ME. I am happy and involved.
And I feel the same way. I am finally comfortable with who I am. Thankfully, this has only been a positive in my marriage. I think my husband knew this woman was in there somewhere, just buried under a hundred pounds of fat.
I guess it depends on when the weight gain happened and how strong the marriage is. I was overweight when I met my husband, but still pretty happy because I had a lot of positive things going on in my life at that point. A huge bulk of my weight gain happened with pregnancy, so my husband had the chance to know me prior to my depressed weight gain era.
If anything, I think my weight loss has HELPED my marriage. I'm a more positive, happy person and that means good things for this family.
And now, a couple of pictures. I mentioned in my first post that I hadn't put up any pictures in my house of me and my son. I was too ashamed of how I looked and felt at that time. Well, this weekend I intend to put one up. Here is last years picture and this years picture.
(More of Lisa's amazing work. Check out her blog.)
How has your weight loss journey affected your relationships?