Remember those Yo Mama jokes from middle school?
You know the ones: the utterly over-the-top, completely exaggerated jokes that you'd yell at your friends back and forth across the lunch table?
Yo mama so ugly, she put the Boogie man out of business.
Yo mama so old, her birthday's expired.
Yo mama so fat, she sat on a rainbow and Skittles came out of it.
Ahh, teenage wisdom at its best. I'm fairly positive no one's mom was so ugly, so old, or so fat; rather everyone's mom was probably at home vigorously attempting to maintain their beauty, youth, and figure with a collection of Avon cosmetics and a Jane Fonda fitness VHS tape.
Though the days when "yo mama" jokes were cool have passed (trust me, I tried them on my sophomores when teaching hyperbole; they didn't find them that hilarious), the days of celebrating yo mama haven't gone anywhere. In case you didn't know, here's a warning from a new mom eagerly looking forward to this weekend: Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 13.
Three generations of Moms. Isn't my Nana tiny and adorable?
And in case you haven't yet hit the mall or the florist's shop, here's a whole list of crap you can scoop up for the running mama in your life:
Yo running mama needs: A gift certificate for a pedicure
Black toenails, calluses, blisters. Runners basically walk around on two horror stories for feet. And, if your running mom is married to a footaphobic guy like mine, her piggies are in extra need of attention.
Amp it up: By adding a foot massage to the pedicure
Yo running mama needs: A goodie bag full of her favorite fuels
Ok, so this stuff can't compare to a vintage Chanel bag or a Tiffany ring, but stock up my supplies of orange Gu, fruit punch nuun, and peanut butter protein LUNA bars, and I'll be one happy mama.
Amp it up: Toss in a gift card to a local restaurant for a future post-race celebration
Yo running mama needs: A clean house
We recently hired a once-a-month cleaning service to give our abode a good scrubdown, and it's the best $75 a month I've ever spent. Having someone else take care of the nitty gritty (soap scummed showers, cat-hair-infested wood floors) frees up some time for the running mom to fit in some extra miles, snuggle with baby and Good Night Moon, or simply relax for a bit.
Amp it up: Take care of a few loads of laundry or clean out the refrigerator for her, too
Yo running mama needs: A shrine dedicated to her accomplishments
Have prints made of some of the running mom's recent race photos to put into a scrapbook or photo album. You could also create a race bib display or pick up a race medal hanger like these ones from Etsy.
Amp it up: Put together a photo book (try Shutterfly or SmileBooks) that celebrates her races with photos and words (add details like race times, favorite running quotes, messages from her kids, parents, friends, etc... )
Yo running mama needs: A family and friends race
Nothing makes me happier than running with people I like. So scour your calendar, make some calls, send out some Evites, and plan for a fun run that features the running mom's family and friends. Bonus points for letting the running mom come in first place for the group.
Amp it up: If you're real gutsy, try tackling a destination race or a non-traditional trail race, like the Warrior Dash
Running moms: What would you add to the list?
People with moms: What are you getting your mom this year?